First of all, let me put the disclaimer on this post that most likely not everything told after this sentence is fully accurate due blurriness and high alcohol levels that night.
Mallorey may have a different rendition of how the night went but here is my story and I'm sticking to it:
It all started around 4pm central time when me, Mal, Nick and Shay (our friends from Louisville) checked into the Days Inn hotel located in downtown Chicago on the north side of town. Luckily for us, it was convenient because one of the event coordinators, Marin (Mal's sister), lives in apartment just a block away. While waiting for the other event coordinator, Katie (Mal's best friend from Mundelein) and her husband Jose, Nick and I chose to do some bachelor party pre-gaming. He took down some Captain Morgan's Private Stock Rum while I had a few shots of my ever-so-famous Early Times Kentucky Bourbon. Ahhhh, nothing will make you feel warmer on a cold Chicago afternoon. Mal and Shay declined to do any pre-gaming with the two of us and looked at us like we were stupid for starting so early. By the end of the night I was wishing I had paid attention to their facial expressions!
Around this time was when my long-time, best of friends from Louisville, Billy, Drew and Dajuan, arrived at our hotel about ten rooms down on the same floor. I was thinking to myself "It doesn't get much cooler than this!" Moments later, Nick and I were hanging out in their room while the ladies stayed behind to get ready for the long night ahead. Now the good news was that we had about half of the bachelor party attendees together. The bad news was that my friends already had me take 4-5 shots of whiskey in a matter of about 15-20 minutes!
By the time Collin (Mal's dad), Jon (my brother-in-law), Justin (Marin's boyfriend) and Jose arrived at our hotel, my brain was fried and that's about when I stopped remembering things. But, for the sake of this post, I will attempt to recall the events as they unfolded. I feel like Keifer Sutherland on the show 24 "All events happen in real time". Haha.
First stop was Harry Caray's Tavern so everyone could get a bite to eat. I only remember sharing some of Dajuan's cheese fries, being told to consume only water for a while and ending up running into someone from Louisville. What a coincidence, right? Shortly thereafter I had beads around my neck along with a napkin that showed a girl's name and phone number and I don't recall how it happened. The name and number on the napkin was part of an object needed for a scavenger hunt in which the guys were trying to beat the girls to the last bar at the end of the night where everyone was to meet up. About this time Jon received a picture message on his phone letting us know Mal and Mandy (my sister) were consuming margaritas bigger than the size of Texas!
To keep the story short, along the way on our bar crawl, here were some of the highlights:
- ate a philly cheesesteak sandwich with cheese whiz on it
- saw two guys fighting in the street and chasing one another
- rubbed everyones head at least once and tickled some others (don't ask why)
- struck out poorly in a batting cage
- heard Free Bird at a piano bar at the same place I struck out poorly
- almost passed out during the cab ride
The last stop of the night before going back to the hotel was a bar called Uncle Fatty's where both the bachelor and bachelorette parties met up. It was nice to see everyone there and smiles all around. Apparently there was some random black guy there with a gold cross chain around his neck whom nobody knew but ended up in our pictures the next day? But that wasn't even the scariest part. After what seemed like hours of trying to find Mal, who had gotten lost in the restroom, we finally came together and attempted to dance. Turns out the only dancing we did was drunken break dancing as we fell unbalanced to the floor. She'll tell you that I took her down, but, like I said, this is my story and I'm sticking to it: she tackled me :-)
After that major party foul it was time to go and we ended up back at the hotel to cap the night with drinks and partying. Here are some highlights:
- Drew drank warm Rolling Rock beer and read verses from the hotel room Bible
- Shay got into a religious debate with Drew
- Dajuan stayed on the bathroom floor trying to puke and at the same time taking advantage of those who tried to help him by having therapy sessions
- I fell backwards in the bath tub while trying to talk to Dajuan
- Mal kicked me in my manhood (good thing I don't remember)
- Mal ordered pizza for everyone
- Dajuan tried to pass out, got pissed at Drew and apparently made everyone leave
All I remembered the next morning was hitting my head on the wall when I passed out and my tailbone hurting from falling on the dance floor and in the bath tub.
Needless to say it was the best of times all around. No one got hurt (that bad) and everyone made it home safely. None of this would have been possible without everyone involved, namely Katie and Marin for their planning of the whole night. But let's not forget Justin who in essence was the guys' bar tour guide that night. But I would personally like to thank everyone for providing Mallorey and myself with a night for the record books!
PS - If you see any of our pictures from this night on random websites, please disregard them. They're probably fake! Haha....
Thank you everyone!
Randy
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