Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Kylar's Birth- Off to a Rough Start

Around 7am (10/31/09), roughly 4 hours after I had returned to Mal in our new room awaiting the arrival of our newborn baby so we could finally be together as a family, just the three of us for the first time, we awoke in shocking fashion.  Mal woke me as she sat up in bed and yelled "Randy, where's Kylar?!"  I told her I didn't know trying to stay calm thinking if she isn't with us, I'm sure it's all for a good reason and only precautionary.  Mal immediately picked up the phone and paged the nurse's station to which they responded that our nurse was supposed to inform us that Kylar was admitted to the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU).  Mal immediately began to cry and I tried to stay calm but my nerves shot through the roof.  There was no way to hold back my feelings this time.  I mean who the hell moves your baby to a unit like that hours after they are born and not tell the sleeping parents?!?!?!?!

We rushed over to the NICU, located right down the hall from our room, and demanded we see Kylar right away.  Mal was still in her hospital gown and I was half asleep, hoping this was all a bad dream, when we were brought to Kylar who was sleeping, encased in a clear box that had two small holes on the front, and wires and sensors attached to her small body.  It was probably the saddest thing Mallorey and I had ever seen.  And it was so hard to believe why things like this seem to always happen to us.  Nothing seems to ever go as smoothly as we planned it.  We expressed our disgust to the doctor on duty, Dr. Forbes, as soon as we could.  And rightfully so.  They had to hear what a piss-poor job they did at informing us the way they did.  The doctor apologized multiple times and assured us what was done was solely for precautionary reasons.  Apparently after I had left the nursery from Kylar's bath, she was recognized as having a hard time breathing on her own and called our pediatrician's office who then ordered her to be placed in the NICU.  They were treating her for either possible bronchitis or pneumonia. But they had no explanation as to why we were never told.  The doctor said they were willing to do whatever necessary to make things right.  I looked down at Kylar and said as straight as I could "You can make sure that our baby daughter will be alright."  Mal and I broke down in tears as they let us each slide a hand into the transparent box, me touching her leg and Mal rubbing her head.  If it were up to us, none of this would have ever happened.  And with that, another nurse came over to us and advised us there is nothing that can be done about what has happened, but rather to focus on moving forward with Kylar's care.  As frustrated as we were, she was right.  Despite the fact Dr. Forbes told us Kylar would likely be kept in the NICU for 7-10 days, our daughter was what was most important right now.

Being apart from our newborn daughter, with her in the NICU and us in our hospital room, was probably the hardest thing Mal and I have ever had to deal with.  The thought of Kylar alone would make me cry whenever I thought about her and what she might be going through at that moment.  Mal did her best to breast-pump in the room so Kylar would still get her needed nourishment, while I fielded the phone calls and informed our family and friends that they were more than welcome to visit us later, but there was also a possibility they would not be able to see her that day.

Eventually we were allowed to go back to the NICU and see Kylar as often as we wanted.  But when visitors came, we could only take one person back at a time.  It made it even more difficult because we were made to literally "scrub in" and wash up from our finger tips to our elbows.  But I completely understand the logic behind that.  Newborns are vulnerable to all kinds of germs and so everyone had to stay as sanitized as possible.  As the day wore on, our family and friends helped to cheer us up, but our thoughts were still with Kylar.  Once our family and friends decided to give us some time alone, Mal and I found ourselves going to the NICU to see Kylar about ever 15 minutes.  We simply wanted to be with our baby girl.  And if nothing else, so she would know we were there for her.

Later that night, Kylar was eventually upgraded because of her improved breathing, and she was let out of her isolate box, and we were allowed to hold her.  It was a small step in reality, but to us it was a huge emotional bonding moment.  Seeing her all hooked up to strange machines while we held her was heartbreaking.  But tears of joy streamed down our face as we held our baby.  We knew for the very first time we were really taking care of her.  And Mal was also encouraged to breast feed her inside the NICU as well.  Things seemed to improve over the next few hours, as grueling as they were, and Kylar was moved to an isolation room which was part of the NICU and eventually taken out of her isolate box and moved to a hospital-grade crib.  So after 17 hours since she was first admitted to the NICU, we started to see `a glimmer of hope and one step closer to going home together.

 To be Continued...

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